Double Demons Dissection

"The sleep of reason gives birth to monsters."

And really long blog posts.

Hoo-boy, do I love me some Demons. This series, short-lived as it was (and no, the INO sequels after the second film don't count), really pulled out all the stops for the hardcore horror fan. And in a very tricky sort of fashion, to boot. Here are two films that manage to not only be extremely entertaining as a whole, but also break any sort of predictable convention or stereotypical application by remaining very wildcard experiences in terms of aesthetics and execution. These flicks cascade all over the map, from hilariously cheesy and silly, trashy and sleazy, to incredibly intense and genuinely terrifying all at the same time, sometimes within the expanse of a single scene or sequence. This is not an easy feat. Usually a horror film has a tendency to either take itself FAR too seriously, or it distills and neuters the horrific elements on display by becoming too self-aware and pandering in terms of any attempted humor or relief. Not so with Demons, or its fairly underrated and underappreciated sequel (flawed as it may still be). Let's take a closer look at this devilishly delectable double-bill in overly-obsessed and epic-length Steak Knife fashion, shall we?

She got a ticket to die, but she don't care.

At its core, Lamberto Bava's Demons is a simple enough animal. It has a fairly straightforward plot and easy to follow narrative, but yet is positively oozing with style - among other nasty and grotesque substances. It's classic vintage euro-horror flair on display for the golden age of the import when the genre was thriving overseas and at full-throttle. Sure, it's also a relatively by-the-numbers exercise in terms of an evil, uncontrollable force taking out corralled and cowering cattle by the boatloads, and yet it manages to make that formula even more genuinely unnerving and unsettling than your typical contagion gone wild flick, or some half-baked apocalyptic zombie outbreak tale. There's a fucking nasty, mean-as-hell edge to this film. From the tearing open of throats and grisly gouging out of eyes, to some downright vicious scalping of hair and clawing of assorted fleshy bits, Demons does not mess around when it comes to dispensing the punishment due to its unfortunate participants. The gore flows like wine here, folks. And it's given added impact by some vibrantly violent and unflinching imagery in terms of its execution. Quite simply, it's beautifully brutal shit. Even the transformations of the afflicted are quite heinous and most unsettling to observe. Whether it's fingernails slowly splitting open to expose demon talons, or teeth popping out to allow for some freaky new fangs to slide into place, many of these possessions are unforgettable fodder for your wildest nightmares where friends become foes, and the slightest scratch means you're following suite to join in the malicious madness.

Gene Simmons, eat your make-up.

The film-within-a-film motif is a nifty but risky one, as it can sometimes take you out of the ACTUAL film you're watching. But with Demons - and how this device operates inside the framework, it's spot-on perfect and does a satisfying job of handing you some eerie exposition before blurring the lines of what's happening on both its self-enclosed screen and your own. Entertainment mirrors reality as reality itself melts away and becomes your wildest imaginative fears let loose. Not even destroying the automated projector helps curb the madness, as our surviving attendees discover that the theater itself is indeed the true nucleus for this hellish havoc, and has lured them all to their inescapable and certain doom.

Commodore 64 projector must DIE!

Frenetically-paced, yet calmly calculated, as well as generously-peppered with unease and dread throughout its accomplished assembly, Demons really gets the genre juices flowing. And who'd have thunk it? Lamberto Bava comes off a supremely steaming turd like Devil Fish and gives us THIS!? Just proof that a director can always rebound from even the most unfortunate misstep if they tap deep back into their potential with the right project and elements at their disposal. Of course, having Dario Argento oversee the works doesn't hurt either, as it's a given that some of the maestro's maddening influence is guaranteed to rub off on the finished product in many a conceivable way. Add to that your own lineage in father Mario and a natural ability to harness the craft, and you're pretty much set to finally deliver a bona fide classic of your very own. Lamberto definitely hit a stride as a director with Demons (and perhaps peaked with elements of its sequel, which we'll get to shortly) in how many scenes are shot and lit. Large, lingering pans and cuts to completely empty and faintly lit corridors and hallways really leave a lasting impression. You can just feel the tension mount as you await something horrible to enter the frame from so many of these lavishly-shot pieces of scenery. His comprehension of such lighting and color techniques from his father Mario, as well as his work under Argento, really do hit home and show that Lamberto could deliver the goods all on his own.

In terms of other components that make the original Demons so indispensable, one cannot forget Claudio Simonetti of Goblin either, whose musical contributions really shine intensely here. It's not a stretch to see him grinning fiendishly behind his electronic instruments as he breathes an amazing amount of additional life into this film through its throbbing beats and dark, driving rhythms. Demons is certainly another film in a long line of so many where the score at play is arguably invaluable to the finished product and, in essence, a character in and of itself within the narrative as it unfolds. I can't imagine certain scenes being as memorable without Simonetti's sinister score pounding over them - in fact, without it, certain scenes could perhaps completely fall apart. The music is that vital here. It really gives an already strong sense of craft and direction that much more life as it paints a foul, funky backbeat to the desperate fight against death at the hands of demonic deviance.

Scratch. You're it.

To its credit, Demons features some truly great characters too, who arguably are quite easy to invest in and care about with practically zero development or depth. There's just something about them. Whether it's our plucky leads with Urbano Barberini's George, Natasha Hovey's Cheryl, Karl Zinny's Ken and Paola Cozzo's Kathy, or the more background characters like young lovers Tommy (Guido Baldi) and Hannah (Fiore Argento), the blind man whose promiscuous daughter likes to make out with creepy balding guys in the balcony seats, or even the overly confident and hard-assed pimp Tony (Bobby Rhodes), whose companions Rosemary (Geretta Geretta) and Carmen (Fabiola Toledo) start the avalanche of atrocities waiting to unfold, everyone has a strange, undefinable charm to them. And that's kind of fucking awesome. No heavy exposition or backstory needed for any one these people - most just come off as relatively warm and likable enough to invest you in their plight as they fight for their soon-to-be-over lives.

What's that creepy guy doing over there?
Is he going to sit by you? Oh, right - I can't see...

And just look at the stunning Nicoletta Elmi, all grown up and quite nicely matured since her days working with Mario Bava and Dario Argento - hubba hubba, here comes trouble. Care to take my ticket, doll? She can usher me out of the theater any time. Nyuck-nyuck.

Now, some characters always resonate more so than others, especially if they're of the villain variety. Assistant Director (and soon-to-be full-on auteur himself) Michele Soavi's completely silent acting turn as the masked man clad in black who spreads the invitation to doom via free Metropol passes is indeed a splendid one, and another facet to what makes this film such a classic. Not only does he look positively cool as hell, but gives a great understated performance that needs no dialogue to carry it whatsoever. Look no further than his slight smirk at the beginning when asked if he's "dressed this way for the promotion of the film." Talk about wicked, and very subtle. His reappearance in the final act only sweetens the deal. The cold expression on his face as he toys with Urbano is pure gold through and through. And all this before getting a harpoon hook-anchor through the back and some exposed rebar through his eye socket in a glorious death scene worthy of the nightmarish, nameless character no one ever forgets.


Even more interesting is Soavi's double-duty as the hapless Jerry in the film playing at the accursed Metropol venue. Is the fate of his onscreen counterpart tied to this mysterious man in black that wears the sinister silver mask like a second face as it overtakes his own? Maybe. It's certainly a potential parallel to draw between the two characters. While what takes place on the Metropol screen certainly seems to be contained to it (unlike in the plot device to follow within the sequel's similar gimmick), perhaps Jerry is indeed the man in black himself, through some supernatural extension of events. We never really know for sure, which only adds to the fascinating possibilities one can ponder concerning this intriguing element.

I can teleport. So to hell with escalators.

While mentioning wonderfully evil characters of immense impact, I have always considered Geretta Geretta (who still looks pretty damned amazing even now - look her up if you don't believe me) and her terrifying transformation into the primary catalyst of the demonic plague to be a hallmark moment of the entire horror genre. I don't know what it is about her and the character of Rosemary, but it still gets under my skin with every viewing. Once she's blasted pus out of her infected facial orifice in the ladies room mirror and is soon found cowering in a stall by her streetwalking companion, the shit not only really hits the fan, but my pulse quickens and I can't help but feel uneasy thanks to her tearing through dimly lit corridors and doorways, just waiting to scratch, bite and claw her way through anything that happens into her putrid path. It's a truly fearless performance that I really wish didn't drop so far into the background later in the film, but nevertheless remains a superb standout.

Got any room for suggestive subtext or religious allegories in your Italian-horror fare? Sure, why the hell not!? What am I on about, you ask? Well, it just seems a tad suspicious to me that the first two people to both harbor and spread infection are essentially prostitutes - who, as we all know from the hyperbolic hogwash spouted off by religious fanatics of the world over, exist only to spread disease and pestilence in their line of "work." Too much, perhaps? Maybe. But it seems oddly suggestive and perhaps a tad cautionary based on this observation, if only in the vaguest sort of way.

The same could even be said of the coked-out thugs that more or less help "release" the evil lurking within The Metropol out into the rest of the world. Sure, they don't actually open the alleyway door and "let anything out" in the strict technical sense, but one has to somewhat see their presence in trying to break in and what happens next as another interesting afterthought towards the vermin of the world helping to spread an unsavory element around and destroy everything as a result. It's almost like them trying to get in persuades the fantastical "powers that be" running amok in the theater to open the door, not only to add more sheep to the festering flock by letting them IN, but to also further the spread of the insidious infection into the rest of the world as the blind man, now fully overtaken and demonified, gets OUT. I just find it odd that their "leader" tries the door, and it then decides to suddenly "open up." Again, might be a reach to some extent, but who am I to not look too deep into something - remember whose blog you're reading.

Since we're on the topic of the Go-West and Billy-Idol-loving druggie punkers, it must be said that their side scenes of driving around all snorted out of their gourd certainly help lighten the mood before they become absorbed by the primary path of the plot. Said moments of bickering with one another and jiving along to music of the era is indeed a laugh riot. Not only that, but the ringleader's name is RIPPER, for crying out loud. Let's hope that's not an affectionate nickname based on his flatulence frequency - they are stuffed in that tiny car, after all.

You gotta love the amusing art of sniffing coke from a "Coke" can, too. It's touches like this that really reinforce the humorous undercurrent on display in parts of Demons. That shit is genuinely hilarious. And let's be honest - you can't buy product placement this strong and influential. I'm sure this method became all the rage after Demons came out. Cops were probably having a barrel of laughs over the whole movement. Because after all, "Coke is it."

And to top it all off, apparently the "feral kid" from The Road Warrior warped to another plain of reality located in mid-1980's Germany, grew up, had a sex change and decided to join a shitty little drug-infused gang of lowlifes.

See what I mean? Totally bizarre.

Another element of Demons that I love is the variable timetable of infection, and the interesting cinematic tension that its uneven results apply. It also gives rise to unique scenes like Paola Cozzo's Kathy having what amounts to a slow burn of demonic awakening and reborn awareness as she slips into the clutches of her newly nasty sense of self. It's a great moment, and one that offers far more food for thought than someone just completely turning tail and lashing out without warning. There's a sense of genuine supernatural elements and intrigue here, as her newfound demonic voice struggles to adapt and understand its surroundings before completely letting loose with all its snarling fury and ferocity. I wish more of the demonic overtakings in both films held this aura, as it really makes for a memorable moment that stays with you due to the supremely creepy quality it "possesses."

If I had to pick one absolute standout sequence from Demons, it would easily be the ventilation shaft escape by Fiore and her boyfriend. Such a classic, sneaky scene that artfully handles a wonderful sense of misdirection and catches you off guard thanks to some clever editing and confusion regarding the visuals and sounds that bring tension into the sequence. It's a fairly potent payoff to consider someone is so completely terrified of the situation and unaware of the creature they're turning into at the same time until they suddenly turn around and maul their lover to death. It's fucking boss. All the better in that Bava is very adamant in showing you Fiore's perfectly normal arms right before she climbs into the vents, which really helps sell you on it being anything BUT her until she turns around all fang-faced and freaky. And while we're here, let's talk a little about poor Fiore and her treatment in Demons - yet another entry in the long line of apparent disdain Argento shows his offspring on camera, even from a facilitatory stance in the background of the production. Fiore is like a precious, scared little lamb waiting to be slaughtered in much of her screentime - the scene in which the dying old fart demon dispenses practically all its internal fluids and juices onto her while she cowers in one of the aisles is most unpleasant, and another case for how Dario's daughters always seem to get the brunt of any merciless madness at the drop of a hat if he has the ability to unleash it upon them.

I heart sweet little adorable Fiore. I truly do.

Once the third act shaves the survivors down to the primary and chosen two, things really take off and don't let up. If you can't see the epic insanity and undeniable badassery all at once of a newfound reluctant hero and his dainty damsel in distress tearing over and around theater seats on a motocross bike while wielding a samurai sword and cutting down dozens of demonic ghouls to the tune of Accept's "Fast as a Shark," then maybe you need to quit watching this kind of stuff. It's an unflinchingly awesome snapshot of just how deliriously rewarding a flick like Demons can really be when its foot is pressed firmly down on the gas pedal.

And I cannot pass by a special mention of the utterly insane stunt player in this scene that truly "goes for it" - this nut is lending the demons some spectacular physical prowess by leaping through the air like a flying fiend - talk about giving your all to the performance!

As such a huge fan, I'm not very inclined to point out all that many flaws in the first Demons film (though there are a few if you look hard enough, like the magically un-kudzued ladder at the end as our valiant couple makes their escape), as it's a pretty satisfying and well-rounded flick in my book. But if there's one completely WTF moment to be had in the whole of Demons, it's gotta be - yep, you guessed it - the helicopter crash through the roof/ceiling of the theater. When one first sees this sequence unfold, you can't help but say "ummmm... oooooooooooook" - but once you're looking back at it, it's actually a great foreshadowing moment of what our surviving heroes will come to find mere minutes later when they ascend through the gaping hole left by the crash - that the world outside of what they thought to be a self-enclosed slice of hell has indeed succumbed to the foul forces at work and become overrun by the very same horrors they've fought so hard against to survive. And talk about some showstopper imagery to follow - raging demons climbing onto gated parking garage openings with eyes aglow gnashing to get at you while Saxon's "Everybody Up" blares boldly in the background - just pure win, folks. Horror-nerd goosebumps.

And I just gotta ask...

And then there's that whopper of an ending. Yes, the exquisitely downbeat ending that refuses to allow our would-be survivors the hopeful promise of a new life beyond the realm of terror that has opened wide all around them. All because one of them got a teensy little scratch and apparently didn't even know it. It's the greatest kind of bleak ending there is, because it's fast and ferocious, leaving you with no time to overthink it, much like the characters amidst the scene in question. Oh super shitballs - she's a demon now - whammo-kablammo - you dead, bitch!!! No time to emotionally overreact or mourn such a sudden turn of last-minute events, just gotta keep on keeping on as our once spunky co-piloting heroine now twitches out her last breath as a newly reborn demoness left shot to shit in the middle of the highway. It's a glorious middle finger of an ending, and one that doesn't give a fuck if you've invested in the survival of these two characters or not - it's gonna do its thing, and if you don't like it, well boo-hoo and tough shit - it's done, sucka.

All I wanted was a ride! Sheesh...

Now before moving on to the somewhat frustrating but enjoyably delirious Demons 2, I've also gotta mention the insanely kooky resemblance between Urbano Barberini and Supernatural's Jensen Ackles. It's quite uncanny. I'm obviously not an advocate for unnecessary and unneeded remakes, but if someone's eventually gonna go there regardless in a few more years time with Demons, well - Jensen's indeed the man for the job when re-casting George.

So, now on to Demons 2, a film I consider to be fairly disappointing on some levels, but in others almost as good, if not better, than its predecessor. As good? Better, you say - is he nuts? Well frankly yes, I am - but that's another topic of conversation entirely. But I'll more than happily elaborate on why I feel this way - beyond that, enjoy the bitching and complaining, 'cause there's plenty of that to be had as well in the oncoming paragraphs.

It's my party and I'll die if I want to.

Despite a fairly carbon-copy setup lifted straight from David Cronenberg's Shivers of moving locales from a supernaturally-infused renovated theater to a high-rise multiplex of yuppie-esque proportions called "The Tower," Demons 2 still delivers much of the desired goods in full, even managing more apparent Cronenbergian nods as it lets the contagion loose once again. The Videodrome-inspired emergence of the revitalized demon from a television screen and right into Sally's bedroom is indeed an unnerving turn of events, and exactly the type of WTF nightmare logic that makes so many Italian opuses like Demons and its sequel so memorable. The film-within-a-film motif on display in the sequel is indeed a deviantly clever one, and manages to tie a nice thread back to the same structure of the original as far as setup without it falling completely apart and feeling forced. The supposedly "live" telecast on display is clearly nodding to the first film's events as actually having happened in its exploration of the aptly-named "forbidden zone," somehow suggesting the aftermath witnessed since the chaos broke was stopped and walled off into memory and whispered legend. But of course, curiosity-seekers and defenders of truth have to go and disturb the equivalent of sleeping death incarnate. And it's once again a nice way of putting the pieces together, but one might argue that it takes a little too long to get off the ground when compared to the first film's similar film-in-the-film device. But once it finally does, I'd say the ruthless and relentless pacing is back in full swing and doesn't falter.

Re-activation of dormant car stereos
may inspire profound specialness in some.

From said turn of supernaturally-spun events, we then get the freshly-demonized and altogether horrifying transformed birthday girl Sally, who I personally think fares far better than Geretta Geretta's Rosemary as this sequel's fiendish female catalyst and foreground villainess. The makeup on Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni is certainly much more gruesome and unsettling for starters (especially as the film progresses - by the end, it's full-on hideous 2.0), but my feeling on this aspect also has to do with the more accomplished onscreen sense that Sally is in fact the true "ringleader" of the demons this time out and is virtually almost always leading packs of possessed prowlers around the high-rise grounds in every scene she enters. It's another amazing performance courtesy of the lovely Coralina, and one that really resonates on many levels that Geretta's Rosemary just does not. Sally is not only the first demon up and running amidst the madness, but in effect also the last one standing as well. Just another aspect to how awesome this sequel's lead demoness is, essentially taking the reigns from Soavi's masked maniac as well as Geretta's Rosemary and combining them into one veritable powerhouse of putrescence that you really love to fear here.

WhatEVA, I do what I WANT!!!

On top of that, there's some incredible camerawork and direction on display in this second Demons outing. You can really feel Lamberto swinging for the fences in some of these sequences. He's clearly learned a great deal since the first Demons, and it really does show in much of this sequel. Pretty much all of the parking deck scenes on display feature some truly intense shit going down - and there's even some amazingly artful shots of demons in the top and bottom of the spiral stairwell honing in on any sound they detect and then racing to rip the source apart. Even the scenes of them running fiendishly up and down these same stairs have a very intense and profound impact to them - something one might argue that films like 28 Days Later and [•REC] noticeably borrowed from for their own similar shots of infected in some scary stairwell sequences a couple of decades later.

John Rhys-Davies does not care to eat out.
His wife disapproves.

Let's talk about "The Tower" in Demons 2 for a minute. Now, in Demons, the turn of events was pretty clear - shit hits the fan, people try to get out of The Metropol, and SURPRISE! - you're trapped through some nifty nightmare logic that has all the doors and windows suddenly bricked up and off limits. No real explanation necessary, you just go with it. But in the sequel, we have all these tenants living in what amounts to a veritable steel, glass and concrete-constructed fortress, of sorts. And what I like here, opposed to the original's vague twist in this turn of events, is that we're basically given some sort of literal REASON for the building becoming a glorified trap of death and doom - namely that of Sally's acidic bloody meltdown as she gets her The Cult jam on, awaiting her writhing, metamorphing minions to arise and join her in some good old-fashioned chaotic cruelty. I'm not normally an advocate of literal representation in such a narrative as this (or any euro-horror fare, for that matter) - but this is a really nice touch. Not only does this bloody excretion lead to the power cutting off, but it actually helps spread the contagion as well - the ultimate in murderous multitasking at your fiendish fingertips! Add to that the hilarious irony that The Cult song in question is indeed "Here Comes the Rain," and well - it's just kind of fucking wicked, isn't it? Plus, I'm of the firm belief that by Sally's sinuous blood getting into the framework of the building, as well as the now fried electrical circuits, it's pretty much BECOME the lifeblood that controls the building. Too imaginative on my own behalf? Oh, piss off and let me have my fun. Admit it - it works. And quite well. Not as ambiguous as the original film's magic brickwalls, but I think it's an equally fascinating turn of events if you consider it from this point of view. And another aspect to how Sally really means some seriously nasty business from top floor to bottom.

Clark Kent reporting for work at The Daily Planet.

The cast here doesn't fare quite as well as the original film. Most of the characters are less warm and likable up front, and really are more like literal cyphers waiting to get offed and then assimilated. Our leads George (David Edwin Knight) and Hannah (Nancy Brilli) are pleasant and easy enough on the eyes to invest in overall, but still seem a tad whitebread and cut and paste than the principles did in the original film. Not only that, but their names seem to be suspiciously recycled as well. But on the positive side of rinse and repeat, we do get Bobby Rhodes back as Hank, the ass-kicking gym instructor who gets his junk manhandled and Captain Cokehead Ripper himself, Lino Salemme as the complex's grumpy and rather dopey security guard. The rest of the players pretty much interchange with one another as dispensable characters with every other scene, as that's about all they're meant to be or amount to this time around.

"You read the instructions" = comedy GOLD.

But we can't escape a mention of little Asia Argento, whose debut here is actually pretty impressive, if only for a key scene in the film's third act. Seeing your parents either possessed by the demonic infestation or taken down by it (to later result in the former anyway) has got to be fairly traumatizing indeed, so kudos to little Asia who sells the tears and the fears as she watches her transforming mother get shotgunned, and then later her beloved Papa get severely mauled, only to then have her automobile safehaven surrounded by snarling, nasty beasties pressed right up against the glass. That's quite a riveting moment, and one that shows Asia's immediate potential as an actress as she stares into these frightening faces. Perhaps even more troublesome is how the film just sort of leaves her there to weep in silence, at least until more presumed demons rose up around her. We don't see her ultimate fate, a relatively kind gesture compared to Fiore in the original film. First time pass-go for severe cinematic abuse? Maybe so. But what ultimately befell Asia's character certainly crosses your mind as the film ends, since it's a thread more or less left hanging. Who knows... perhaps she's still there today...

Somebody? Anybody? I'm... still... alive...

One minor complaint I have to address is this - why in the blue blazes (or standard yellow and orange ones) are demons afraid of fire? I mean... really? They're creatures that have presumably ascended to man's plain from the darkest, foulest depths of hell's inferno - a place rife and overflowing with fire and brimstone - and they're afraid to barge through a flaming parking garage doorway? Ok, ok... I know - big deal. And in truth, I personally have to justify it as they're demons occupying flesh and blood vessels of men that can't withstand the physical damage the fire would no doubt inflict, so they gotta play conservatively... right? Which in turn leads to some amazing aerial acrobatics to alleviate the problem and bypass the obstacle, of course. Fucking demons. So clever and cocksure.

And also worthy of a little jab - apparently when you're a musclebound oaf and get newly demonized, only your face shows signs of infection, as the rest of that roided and ripped frame is perfectly flesh-toned and normal-looking as can be.

While I certainly approve of the more gothic-infused and alternative tastes utilized in the soundtrack portion of Demons 2 versus the all-out New Wave and Metal of the first film (which is still awesome, so please don't misunderstand me - I just dig on some of the sequel's music a lot more on a personal taste level), it must be said that Simon Boswell's incidental score is a tad inferior to Claudio Simonetti's masterful grooves on the original. More than serviceable enough and spooky, sure - but something's just not fully in gear the way that Simonetti's tunes were. It's not a crippling difference - but it is an undeniable and noticeable one at times. To make it even more clear to some extent - you practically can't help but sing the Simonetti theme tune from the original out loud after watching it, whether it's your first time or your fiftieth. But do you really feel that compulsion with any of the incidental theme music in Demons 2? I rest my case.

So yes, fair praise and minor qualms behind us... sigh... let's get into some of the really rough stuff. I do have some hefty complaints with Demons 2, despite my ability to still always enjoy it every time I sit back down with it. For one, some of the characters are so inconsequential here that you really don't even understand what the point of them being in the film at all really is. At least all the characters in the first film crossed over in ways that made sense or paid off in some element to their inclusion in the narrative. But this time? Not so much. Take the John Denver-looking partygoer that answers the phone, for example. So, his whole purpose in the film is to answer said phone, tell someone that's supposed to be "out of the loop" and exiled for reasons we're never fully explained (but to be fair, can guess) to come on over and join in the fun, gets yelled at for doing so, and then waits around for this knucklehead outside of the building for half the runtime to try and ward him off, until this same idiot in question comes barreling up and wrecks into another couple trying to get back to their little boy? Um, ok. Add on to that the copious amount of scenes of this aforementioned Mario Van Peebles-looking asshat driving through red lights and up and down city streets like a maniac, and it all seems a bit pointless when said and done. I mean yeah, the obvious punchline of "I've never had an accident" comes up a total foreshadowed laugh, but that's about it.

Are you in "good hands?" Evidently not.

And speaking of the kid and his parents being gone for the night - what the hell, boy!? Do you ALWAYS answer the phone and tell whoever's on the other end that you're home alone and your parents are out!? I think someone needs to get traumatized by a healthy dose of ABC After-School Specials concerning talking to strangers and learning what to say and what not to say when his parents are away.

But wait, I'm not done with the kid yet. Oh no, not by a long shot. Now, all these narrative niggles aside, there is one HUGELY LAME moment in Demons 2 that turns into a rather protracted and altogether silly sequence that should've just been excised - or at least rethought. Yes, I'm talking about the shitty-ass, goofy-as-hell demon puppet thing that emerges from the demonized child after his apparent strobe-induced epileptic fit on the kitchen floor. This shit is just fucking hilariously bad. It's like "hey, let's make a sequence that involves some kind of Gremlins/Ghoulies-inspired little hellion that gives the pregnant chick a dose of spastic harassment." Problem is, it doesn't even look as good as either the Gremlins creatures or the best of the Ghoulies designs ever did. It looks like some retarded-ass goblin that fell on its head after it came screaming forth from some hellish womb. Granted, I kind of like the idea one might take from this sequence and turn of events - that the demonic creature now inhabiting the child is too powerful, and the vessel too weak, so it tears itself free from the possessed kid and goes to town on its own - not all that dissimilar or removed from the possible motivation of the demon that emerges from Paola Cozzo's back in the first film after she gets wailed on. But the execution is just all wrong here. It's like some zany mutated Fraggle Rock puppet gone awry that crawled out of a deep frier, not a convincing demonic force that means to do you in. And scenes of it leaping through the air like a corny cartoon, along with the fucking shrill and obnoxious high-pitched squealing it continues to emit for like 10 minutes, do not help either. The demon child, however, looks AMAZING when it first attacks after duping its way into almost being innocently let in - and while chasing our preggers damsel around the apartment, looks pretty fucking freaky and altogether effectively terrifying as it runs amok. But then it "evolves," and the scene arguably falls apart on so many levels. Such a shame.

Avon Calling!

The same frustrating criticisms could also be applied to the woman's dog becoming possessed earlier in the film. So, it sprouts some new-fangled (oh yes, I said it) toothy jaws and tiny green eyes and we're supposed to shit a proverbial brick? Um... nope, sorry. I mean again, I appreciate the IDEA of having a beloved pet also succumb to the forces of darkness, but the execution on display here is pretty limp. Obviously, the unpopular trope being exploited here is that not even children or animals are safe THIS TIME! But if you're going to throw caution to the wind and piss all over convention to defy the rules one is generally accustomed to (and children along with sweet, silly pets being immune to evil's unholy grasp is certainly a HUGE one), be sure you've got something a little more viable and worthwhile in the f/x department to back that shit up. Otherwise, it's just silly-looking and kind of pointless, despite your best intentions. Imagine if this had been done with a much stronger design, say something akin to the Terror Dogs from Ghostbusters, only far more vile and vicious-looking. But no, we get this crap. The dog attack itself is just kind of goofy looking - about as much as the demonized dog, to be fair. And is it actually humping her to death for a moment before it takes a juicy bite? I see some gyration there. Which also reminds me - even before said poorly-crafted possession occurs, how the hell did it reach the eye peephole when she glanced out of the front door? Does it have spring-loaded back paws or something?

Must be the high-grade Alpo she's been buying.

Even more of a shame is how a possible twist ending to Demons 2 is averted and altogether unrealized. What's that, you ask? Well isn't it perfectly clear? Our aforementioned Fraggle-demon puppet finally gets a pretty good grip on Mrs. soon-to-be-in-labor, so one would assume as easily as pretty much EVERY OTHER PERSON in this series gets nicked or scratched and winds up turning into a newly demonized denizen of hell's unleashed ugliness, that this thing had more than enough time to get a nail in and get her infected. But noooooooooooo. Instead, she's fine as can be and we're treated to the birth of a perfectly normal baby boy in the film's final moments - something I feel that would've been far better suited (not to mention twisted in a deviously perfect sort of Demons fashion) to have resulted in a newborn demon child clawing its way out of her in some truly over-the-top shit to cap the film off. But again, it was not to be. Instead of ending this sequel on a supremely whacked-out and dour note, the message seems to be if you're young, good-looking and have taken emergency rescue courses over the summer, you can defy the odds, birth a child in times of intense strife and stress, and walk out unscathed into the early morning sun, all cozy and defiant. Pretty lame, but I suppose for whatever reason the producers and writers behind Demons 2 decided to let these two have their cake and eat it too. Yet after all that fuss at the beginning, they never do get their cake, do they? ZING! Which also leads me to another great missed opportunity. How hilarious would it have been if Hannah had taken a long overdue bite of Sally's birthday cake, no doubt peppered in spots of demon blood, to then turn into a demon herself, all over a raging pregnancy craving for sweets? I guess even the schlockiest of narratives have some smart characters in them, eh? Oh, she sure as hell fucking thought about it! She stuck that finger in the icing and was all like "yeeeeah, baby bumpums, it's about time to get our sweeties on" - but then reason kicked in and she snapped out of it, I guess. I suppose also running into the closet-hiding "we're gonna change into demons in the last few minutes just to help spice things up" leftover partygoing couple provided some additional distraction.

My favorite shot from Demons 2. Just because.

One thing I will give the thumbs up to as far as the ending of Demons 2 is the television studio setting it finds itself in for the last few minutes. The opening reveal of this with the audience seats barely lit is a great nod and obvious throwback to the original film. And despite the strange space-age sound effects and atmosphere going on, it's a nice set-up for the one element that adds great impact to the otherwise safe and sound finale - the attempt by a blinded and dying Sally to re-birth herself via the television camera and its corresponding monitors. This is, yet again, a supreme piece of "what the fuck!" nightmare logic gone wild, and a great bookend to the same course of events that spread the outbreak in the first place this time around. Another nod to Videodrome, perhaps? I'd sure say so, yes. Is this studio now effectively the Civic TV of the Demons universe? Heh heh, who knows. But seeing that same otherworldly, vaguely limbo-esque shot of Sally running towards the screen (as previously witnessed on the rooftop before she went rappelling after our bulletproof couple) duplicated on multiple monitor screens as she makes one final attempt to continue the madness - well, it's just wicked shit and very well done. A nice, thought-provoking twist to an otherwise tame conclusion.

I know it sounds like I'm down on Demons 2 like an angry parent scolding its expected honor-roll student over a bad report card, but I still love the flick immensely. And in general, despite the obvious warts on its complexion, I think it gets unfairly shit on to a degree and a pretty bad rep for being the only thing it ever could be - a somewhat lackluster follow-up to a fairly prestigious Italian-horror classic. I mean all things considered, it's still a solid and satisfying romp of a flick that makes for enjoyable enough viewing. High art? Hardly. But as bad as some seem to think it is? Hell naw. I see it as a loveable failure to some extent, and certainly a film that's hella fun to watch.

In the end, it's a damn shame (in old Steak's opinion, anyway) that this series didn't continue with more "proper" and true sequels. It seemed a given that this would-be franchise-in-the-making had as much potential life and return investment in it as so many others - and at least a few more entries, but clearly that must not have been the case after the initial sequel was forged and the returns (or lack thereof) came in. And I suppose a lot of my own issues with Demons 2 may have indeed spoken for why more films wouldn't have been the greatest idea, since the concept clearly worked best the first time out thanks to many variables the original film had to call its own. But I still lament a lack of additional Demons films. That's just me. In an age where so many other properties got milked until the last cow fell over dead as a doornail, it still seems odd to me that AT LEAST a third film wasn't attempted (and again, stuff like Soavi's The Church doesn't really count - totally different vibe and delivery to that masterwork). There is a ray of hope, however. Arrow's impending (albeit fairly long-delayed) new DVD releases of these films are carrying a new and proper third story in the form of a special comic book, which from the clever little preview divulged awhile back (yes, even paper cuts are now a contagion catalyst if said pages harbor the demonic essence!) looks rather good. I personally can't wait for this little slice of newly-divulged demonic mayhem. It's about damn time.

So that, dear reader, is that. If you've somehow never seen these films and have the curious itch to do so, go ahead and scratch it. Oh, they do bite, but it's ever so pleasurable a wound to carry on your horror-loving soul. And if you've seen both films many a time over, isn't it about time to re-visit them anyway? I should think so, yes. Get to know your Demons better, won't you?